January in England is cold. Like, really cold. So cold that I find myself climbing into bed at 8pm just to get warm, glugging pints of tea so my insides don’t freeze and waging a passive aggressive war on my housemates over the central heating schedule. I look at my cat with jealousy: he is roughly 98% fluff, 2% cat. He is always warm. Everywhere he goes he carries a snuggly outer layer that he cleverly grew himself. It must be like wearing a soft, hairy, permanent onesie (but easier to pee in).
Humans have been jealous of fashionable animals for a long time, it seems. Back when we were cavemen wearing anything that hadn’t been alive a few hours ago was a major faux pas, and Hollywood starlets in the forties knew that looking like a bunny rabbit was sexy way before Bridget Jones turned up at that tarts and vicars party. Fur is great.
I won’t go into the gruesome details of the modern-day fur industry, as no one wants to be a Debbie Downer and I’m sure by this point we all know how it works. We are lucky enough to live in a technologically advanced age, where we can fuel our appreciation of fluffy mammals by watching YouTube videos, creating memes, giving Disney Princesses witty animal sidekicks and by flawlessly imitating their coats using synthetic fibres.
Faux fur has never been more accessible, nor has it looked so good. My furry coats are amongst my most prized possessions, and wearing them makes me feel like a stylish, cosy creature with a guilt-free conscience.
I look fabulous, I feel WARM, and nothing had to die. Hurrah! The cat can sleep soundly knowing that he won’t wake up as a pair of gloves tomorrow morning, and I can subtly compliment him by wearing the traditional robes of his people. Everyone’s a winner.
So without any further ado, here are four of my high street faves.
The Animal Print One
Why I love it: It’s cool, it’s edgy, and it helps Pat Butcher stay relevant in gentrified areas of East London. It’s SUPER soft, cosy without being bulky, and it was in the sale for £30. Bargain.
The Vintage One
From: Charity shop
Why I love it: Oh man, charity shops are great aren’t they? Not only does 100% of your money go to a great cause, but you can find quality stuff for a fraction of the price. Plus, you are guaranteed to get something unique. PACT Animal Sanctuary’s Norwich shop is my favourite – they have a huge vintage coat selection and, being animal lovers, it goes without saying that everything is faux.
The Cropped One
From: New Look
Why I love it: This one is more of a jacket than a coat, so is great for throwing on with a pair of jeans when you want to look fancy but not too fancy. It also has a real vintage feel to it, and is a pretty good dupe for the real thing – as I found out when I posted a picture of it to Facebook, and had to defend my vegan credentials. I’m just complimenting the animals guys!!!
The Better-Than-Real One
Why I love it: It has the warm factor x10000000. And like the New Look one, it’s a great dupe – imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You’re welcome, wolves.